![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Aug. 6th, 2016 03:57 pmI need to start packing soon for EJ and my excursion to Yelm tomorrow. We're catching the 6:20am ferry which is going to be painful. We're going to try to go to bed very early. Which will be easier because I do not have to go over to Rheagan's to take care of her animals since they are finally home! We still have Piggy though. I'm not totally convinced I want to give Piggy back because I'm getting a bit attached to him and he seems to enjoy the company of the dogs, cats and bunnies. Rheagan's not completely sure she wants to take Piggy back because he's so isolated at her house since his friend died. We'll see what she says. We definitely do not need a guinea pig. And in reality we should have another guinea pig friend for him. Although, he does seem to like to be around the rabbits.
In other news I am nervous about tomorrow. I realize I don't know anyone who's going to be at this show except Suzanne (who will probably bring Alex) neither of whom I want to see and Asia who is probably bringing Shelley Mauer who I also have no desire to see. Hopefully, since Shelley decided our friendship needed to end by her cutting me off and not replying to my emails about what I'd done to upset her enough to cut me off - hopefully that means she will avoid me at all costs. If she is like most people who cut other people out of their life with no explanation whatsoever she will be sure that I will come running to her begging her to be my friend again and will be avoiding me at all costs to not have to deal with the discomfort of needing to tell me she doesn't like me anymore. At least that has been my experience with people who suddenly decide to stop dating someone or stop being friends with someone by literally never calling them back again, unfriending them on social media and just disappearing. It's like a power-play or something since people usually want answers and will pursue their ex-friend initially to try and get answers while the ex-friend thinks, "Oh - look at them pursuing me! They really want me back! Oh the power!" Anyway, if I'm lucky she will avoid me and if she needs to do it while thinking it is because she doesn't want to hurt me by telling me the truth that she doesn't like me anymore then she can have that. If she is that pathetic and weak that she needs to just drop everything and run and hide in hopes that people will pursue her and make her feel important than go for it. Just don't come out of hiding ever, please. Of course there is that horrific possibility that she will come up to me and want to sweetly explain why I'm such a horrible person that she had to just suddenly cut off our friendship with no explanation because it was for her own emotional safety because I am blah blah blah ... whatever her crazy-ass little mind comes up with. But if she does that I have the right to say "I'm busy and I'm not interested, excuse me," and walk away. And of course Alex will be her usual bouncy little, "Aren't I cute? Don't you just love me?" self. No, I don't love you you insecure little two-faced troll who is nothing but a shallow image-monger who idolizes two very sick, old bitter women who are out to destroy all other women just to make themselves feel better about how old and withered and pathetic they are. Actually Audrey is younger than me. But she is a sad and incompetent horse trainer and knows it and is trying to make up for it by putting everyone else down. And every time I see her she is bragging about herself and I just don't believe any of it anymore.
So, I am hoping that this is not going to be a horrible experience. I can always leave! I don't have to stay. If it turns really ugly or something weird happens, I can just get in my truck and leave. I can either go to the hotel or come home. I don't have to stay and put up with anything. But honestly, I'm probably just going to go and have fun doing volunteer chores I've never done before. And Paula is nice enough and I'm sure I will meet other volunteers. I started scribing by going to a horse show where I didn't know anyone and had no idea how the shows worked or what a scribe a did and I was scribing for Beth Glosten who was pretty intimidating back then especially if you didn't know her. Then I'd go to Lake WA Saddle Club and scribe at shows where I didn't know anyone. Plus, I'm going to take a couple of "hostess gifts" to Jennifer and Paula to thank them for hosting these shows and that is always a good networking thing. I'm going to take them a little big with hand cream, sunscreen and a copy of my book. The sunscreen being the most important. I figure if I give away little samples enough that word will spread if people like the products. So, I'm going for networking and the experience of getting to be the announcer and meeting people and watching some beautiful horses. Jennifer's horses are impressive - she's one of the people who rode with Charlotte Dujaudin.
In other news I am nervous about tomorrow. I realize I don't know anyone who's going to be at this show except Suzanne (who will probably bring Alex) neither of whom I want to see and Asia who is probably bringing Shelley Mauer who I also have no desire to see. Hopefully, since Shelley decided our friendship needed to end by her cutting me off and not replying to my emails about what I'd done to upset her enough to cut me off - hopefully that means she will avoid me at all costs. If she is like most people who cut other people out of their life with no explanation whatsoever she will be sure that I will come running to her begging her to be my friend again and will be avoiding me at all costs to not have to deal with the discomfort of needing to tell me she doesn't like me anymore. At least that has been my experience with people who suddenly decide to stop dating someone or stop being friends with someone by literally never calling them back again, unfriending them on social media and just disappearing. It's like a power-play or something since people usually want answers and will pursue their ex-friend initially to try and get answers while the ex-friend thinks, "Oh - look at them pursuing me! They really want me back! Oh the power!" Anyway, if I'm lucky she will avoid me and if she needs to do it while thinking it is because she doesn't want to hurt me by telling me the truth that she doesn't like me anymore then she can have that. If she is that pathetic and weak that she needs to just drop everything and run and hide in hopes that people will pursue her and make her feel important than go for it. Just don't come out of hiding ever, please. Of course there is that horrific possibility that she will come up to me and want to sweetly explain why I'm such a horrible person that she had to just suddenly cut off our friendship with no explanation because it was for her own emotional safety because I am blah blah blah ... whatever her crazy-ass little mind comes up with. But if she does that I have the right to say "I'm busy and I'm not interested, excuse me," and walk away. And of course Alex will be her usual bouncy little, "Aren't I cute? Don't you just love me?" self. No, I don't love you you insecure little two-faced troll who is nothing but a shallow image-monger who idolizes two very sick, old bitter women who are out to destroy all other women just to make themselves feel better about how old and withered and pathetic they are. Actually Audrey is younger than me. But she is a sad and incompetent horse trainer and knows it and is trying to make up for it by putting everyone else down. And every time I see her she is bragging about herself and I just don't believe any of it anymore.
So, I am hoping that this is not going to be a horrible experience. I can always leave! I don't have to stay. If it turns really ugly or something weird happens, I can just get in my truck and leave. I can either go to the hotel or come home. I don't have to stay and put up with anything. But honestly, I'm probably just going to go and have fun doing volunteer chores I've never done before. And Paula is nice enough and I'm sure I will meet other volunteers. I started scribing by going to a horse show where I didn't know anyone and had no idea how the shows worked or what a scribe a did and I was scribing for Beth Glosten who was pretty intimidating back then especially if you didn't know her. Then I'd go to Lake WA Saddle Club and scribe at shows where I didn't know anyone. Plus, I'm going to take a couple of "hostess gifts" to Jennifer and Paula to thank them for hosting these shows and that is always a good networking thing. I'm going to take them a little big with hand cream, sunscreen and a copy of my book. The sunscreen being the most important. I figure if I give away little samples enough that word will spread if people like the products. So, I'm going for networking and the experience of getting to be the announcer and meeting people and watching some beautiful horses. Jennifer's horses are impressive - she's one of the people who rode with Charlotte Dujaudin.
